Posts Tagged ‘motivate’
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There are many reasons to read. People read for school, for work, for pleasure, for instructions, for enlightenment and for spirituality. Remembering that significance is about importance, and about meaning, I want to talk about my practice of reading for significance.
Reading can happen quickly or at length. You can read a recipe or instructions and be off in running in moments. You can read a blog post or an article and be evaluating your practices to apply new ideas in short order. You can wrap up in a novel, or embark on a business adventure, escaping the real world by exploring the fantasy of another, or seeking the wisdom from another’s success.
I love instructions. I know many people that think that is crazy, but I do. The structure and order from a step-by-step journey with an expected outcome as the destination. I find extreme satisfaction in reaching the destination. For me, the success is sweet. The completion of any project is significant to me, whether that is creating a delicious dinner, one-step at a time, or building a bed from a somewhat questionable guide.
I want to make a difference for people. When I learn about a technique, a process, or an idea that has had an important impact for others, I want to try it out for myself, for those around me. I love reading blog posts and articles to learn what people are doing right now in their own worlds. Ideation is my weakest link. I do not develop unique ideas, but I see what other people do and I am able to see how it can work elsewhere.
I need to feel. I have an uncanny need to practice the breadth of emotions, to feel love and sorrow, thrill and fear, suspense and intrigue. I can find these emotions in the pages of a book, and I can summon them whenever I need them. Life is nothing without them. When I do not have the time to read, to open my heart and mind to feeling what the author has poured into his pages, the world becomes foggy and gray to me. It loses something. The monotony of the commute, the work, the commute, the dinner, the television, followed by sleep is merely rinsed and repeated. When do we have time to ride the roller coaster and experience all the things our heart has in store for us? Supposedly, we do those things so we can experience them, but I do not see very many people actually getting to that step. I get it. The exhaustion caused by the monotony is overwhelming, but that will not stop me from finding solace in someone’s words. Those words allow me to snap myself out of the drudgery and to feel alive, to make me want more, and to do more.
That. That is why I read.
Why do you read?
What’s in Store for 2015
Posted on: January 27, 2015
- In: self
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To start the year off right, I sat down and planned out a blog post calendar for 2015. I want to give you a sneak peak into the year and let you know what I have planned. I feel that in order to be successful and to provide meaningful posts, I need to know how I want to share things that will provide value for you. You may have noticed that I have broken my posts into several different categories, loosely based on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. You will find posts that relate to work, spirit, family, friends and health. When I can’t decide what category a post should go in you will see the occasional “me” post thrown in, because let’s be honest, to care of everything else, we have to take care of us first.
You may remember that late last year I selected the word significance as my word for 2015. I want to explore how to make each area of my life more significant. To focus my posts into each of the categories, I will discuss how to make each area more significant or bring more significance to each area.
I started off the year with work, talking about setting and tracking your goals, something that is often associated with work, but can also be associated with many areas of your life. I will transition into a more personal focus in February. March we will focus on Spirit, April on Family, May on Friends and June on Health. In July we’ll start the six topics over again, digging deeper for each area. I have selected these areas because I feel that they are the minimum and core foundation required to intentionally create a balanced life that will bring you joy.
Health is the basis of many things and can refer to your diet, your exercise, and even your mental or emotional status. We all wish we could be healthier, but it often is one of the first things sacrificed when push comes to shove. I am extremely guilty of this, and I want to change that. I want to live by this quote, and plan to share my steps on how I will do that.
Family is important, whether it is you and your significant other, your children, or extended family near and far. We don’t all have the relationships we would like to have with our family, and so this will focus on building significantly better relationships.
Friends extend beyond family, and while family members can be friends, there is a need to have friends that do not share your blood. In today’s society, the definition of friend has changed dramatically. I will explore this and how to build connection with your friends both on and offline.
Work is something that we all have to do in order to pay the bills, but there is more to it than that, for balance’s sake. I plan to explore the significance of our work, how we can find significance in unlikely places and how to plan for significance (which we did this month.)
Spirit is a touchy subject, and one I would like to explore because of that. I want to explore what spirit means, how you can have a significant spiritual experience and how it will impact the rest of your life.
At the foundation of all of these is you. How do you help yourself maintain balance? Do you hold onto the significance? How do you take care of yourself so that you can take care of all these other areas? I will explore the important steps needs to maintain your own sanity so that you can find balance in all areas of your life.
So that is the plan for this year. I hope you will find something interesting and I look forward to sharing this journey with you and finding ways to be significant in all things.
References
- levi-jackson-191.jpg (2013). Retrieved from http://www.dailyhiit.com/hiit-blog/hiit-life/hiitbreak/daily-motivation-43-photos.
What do you Fear?
Posted on: December 1, 2014
- In: mind
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What do you fear?
I had an interesting discussion with my family on a long drive this holiday weekend. The question that started the discussion was, “What do you fear?” Doing a little research, the statistics surprised me. 6.3 million Americans have a diagnosed phobia. The top ten phobias are:
[columns] [span6]
1. public speaking
2. death
3. spiders
4. darkness
5. heights
[/span6][span6]
6. people or social situations
7. flying
8. confined spaces
9. open spaces
10. thunder and lightning
[/span6][/columns]
(“Fear / Phobia Statistics.”)
I ask, what about fear that is not a diagnosed anxiety disorder. Fear of not having the money to make your next rent payment. Fear of not accomplishing everything you hope to. How many of your friends have a bucket list? My fear is not using the short time I have on this earth to live life to its fullest. What do you fear? Does your fear dominate your life? Is it healthy?
Why are you afraid of it?
What led to your fear? Have you ever thought about it, even just acknowledged it? My mother passed away in her fifties. She parented me and saw me through college; saw my marriage and the birth of her granddaughter. Then in the blink of an eye, she was gone. As a parent, when you see your adult children living their own successful lives, you know it is time to revisit your own dreams. After a life devoted to your family, it is likely time to dream new dreams. She did not have that opportunity. None of us can know how long we will have on this earth. While I am here, I plan to experience everything I can.
What are you going to do about it?
My fear tends to lead to bucket list creation. Fear motivates behavior. While I do not have a bucket list written down, I am intentional about making choices that allow me to experience new things. Many times things I want to do conflict with each other. For example, I wanted to be the first female in my family to graduate from college. Attending college is a commitment that will keep me from being able to make time or financial commitments to other types of experiences such as traveling or writing one of the many books trapped inside my mind. Nevertheless, I have embarked on this path as a student, and for two years, I will forsake globetrotting and completing National Novel Writing Month. It will not stop me from taking my first cruise, planning a road trip across some part of the United States I’ve never been to (with WiFi so I can keep up with my coursework) or practicing a new form of meditation, a drawing style called Zentangle®. How does your fear motivate you? Are you okay with that motivation? Can you change your mindset and have your fear motivate your growth and change?
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A year from now you will wish you had started today. ~Karen Lamb
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Works Cited
2014. http://www.statisticbrain.com/fear-phobia-statistics.
What is Movember?
Posted on: November 17, 2014
What is Movember?
Movember is a global movement that began in 2004 in Melbourne, Australia. There is a billboard on the freeway in Southern California, it says”This year thousands of men will die from stubbornness.” This billboard sums it all up for me. Men do not talk about men’s health, not until it’s too late. The founders of Movember did their research and began with formal support towards prostate cancer. As the year’s have ticked by, the team have added mental health and testicular cancer as additional support causes. In 10 years, there have been 4,027,688 registered participants and they have raised $559 million.
What are the concerns?
The Movember website offers a great tip sheet and good recommendations for taking care of yourself. (tip: much of the advice they share is gender neutral) Maintaining your health may seem like common sense. We’re taught health in school, we participate in physical education, and many fall in love with the activity and pursue sports as their hobbies. Healthy, tasty food is readily available at your favorite restaurants and on your own dining room table. Yet, more than 1/3 of adults in the United States are obese, and very few conversations are being held around prevalent health issues. In 2014 we lost Robin Williams to his long-suffered depression, in American alone 6.7% of the population, nearly 15 million adults will be diagnosed with depression. The way I see it Movember is about starting the conversation, education and increasing health.
How am I participating?
I am supporting my husband’s campaign as he is growing out his mustache and raising funds. This means that I am supporting him, every time we pass a police car and he wants to stop for a selfie to add to his a photo essay; The ‘Stache in its Natural Environment. Or whenever we see a van. My husband does nothing half way. When this month is over we’re going to have the finest collection of creepy mustache selfies. For my part, I’m about baking so we’re hosting a bake sale. Mustache shaped cookies, brownies and rice crispy treats. All the proceeds will be going towards his Movember campaign.
How can you help?
- Learn more about Movember by visiting their website.
- Support my husband’s campaign by donating
- Start the conversation
- Schedule a check up
- Get Involved with your own Movember page
- Issue your own challenge
Above all else, this is about health, and being healthy is fun. Get out and have some fun today!
As promised, I am reporting back to let you know how my diet has gone. It has been a roller coaster ride, in the end I not only succeeded in losing 4% of my body wight, I actually achieved 4.96% body weight loss. There were only 8 of us that were successful. It feels pretty good to be one of the few that succeeded! Along the way I learned things about myself, and about dieting, so I thought I would share them with you.
As a reminder, here is what I did:
- Using a pedometer measured my steps and set daily minimum and stretch goals
- Followed a name-brand diet plan, using meal replacement supplements, having healthy snacks and a healthy dinner
- Using recipes from the diet plan, planned out grocery lists two weeks at a time to make it as easy as possible
- Increased water intake
Here is what I learned:
- You can do anything for four weeks
- Your body acclimates faster than you think
- Accountability makes sticking to it easier
- Financial stake drives commitment
- Increased exercise is as hard to adjust to as decreased calories
You can do anything for four weeks
Four weeks seems like a long time when you’re a young child waiting for your birthday, but when you’re an adult, time moves differently. Committing to a weight loss plan for four weeks is easier than I expected. Sure the thought of food is pretty all consuming at times, but the healthy meals were incredibly tasty. In fact, some of the recipes were good enough to be added to my regular rotation of go-to meals. Four weeks has gone by fast, and it’s very satisfying to have something to show for a four week time span. How often can you say that you’ve accomplished something newsworthy in just a month?
Your body acclimates faster than you think
The first few days, five or six tops, were the hardest. Transitioning from eating food to replacement supplements was a shock to my poor stomach. 8 ounces of liquid does not initially satisfy the hunger craving the way solid food does. I found that eating bulky snacks helped offset this, things like fresh fruit, protein-rich cottage cheese and crackers, or popcorn, especially the popcorn, helped me get through this time. When you’re planning your first week, plan snacks that will make you feel like you’re still getting to indulge. Popcorn is great because you get a large volume which fills you up, but you are taking in few calories so it is completely legitimate as a snack. After the first week I found my body had adjusted and it was much easier. In fact, there were times I found myself having to remind myself to snack. That’s saying something.
Accountability makes sticking to it easier
Signing up and committing with a group to weight loss makes the experience much easier when you feel like you just want to walk away and have a croissant. If you have other people collectively working towards a goal there is something about the collective motivation, and for some, the competition, that makes it easier to stay on track. When I went an entire week without losing (or gaining) my motivation was at rock bottom, but knowing other people were facing the same challenges, because we all had a bad week, made it a lot easier to give it one more try. That next week I was successful,back on track and I lost weight. If I hadn’t been motivated to stick to it, I would never have made that goal.
Financial stake drives commitment
The financial motivation helps too. For the entire month I kept thinking about what little treat I was going to get myself. I had settled on art supplies. When the time came and I was offered my money back. I decided to just leave it in the pot to be donated. Together, with the folks that didn’t achieve their goal, and others like me that just left their money in the pot, we donated more than $500 to a good cause. My $25 wouldn’t have done much, but together, we are able to make a difference, that feels a whole lot better. And I lost more than 4% of my body fat, so I’m healthier and taking care of myself, it’s a win-win.
Increased exercise is as hard to adjust to as decreased calories
As I said in the beginning, my objective was to increase my activity, just by adding in more walking. I was successful here also. I learned that the increased activity makes it even harder to stay committed to fewer calories. Nothing makes you hungrier than exercise. I experienced some fatigue from the decreased calories, and that makes it hard to keep yourself motivated to get out go for that walk. Thankfully the weather was incredibly cooperative, and I hear the call of nature at all times, so I was often lured outside by the sun and temperature, in spite of my own aversion to the exercise thought.
All in all I succeeded, doing better than I expected. It was hard but it was worth it. Knowing I am finishing off the year on a good roll like this will make things that much easier as the new year comes in and I want to continue with everyone else on their annual diet. One thing I definitely stand by, don’t torment yourself. If your life is in the way of cooking that healthy meal, or you just need a break. Take it. Twice on the diet we opted to order pizza, and that was some of the best pizza I’ve ever had. And it didn’t ruin my diet. We were careful when we ordered, opting for the thin crust, limited toppings, and asking for light cheese. When your taste buds have been deprived of junk food, a little but goes a long way, trust me on this.
- In: work
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Many of us are familiar with typical the annual employee appraisal, the one time a year that you meet with your boss and talk about your performance and hopefully qualify for your annual increase. If you’re lucky, your boss may even speak to you about your professional development goals. One time a year is not enough to discuss this in hopes that it will make a meaningful difference.
I was introduced to the concept of an Individual or Personal Development Plan (IDP) through my career many years ago. Unfortunately they were using the concept to force justification for training and travel costs. I was reintroduced to the idea during a leadership discussion group I attended, and it was there that I discovered their real value. The website Work Awesome said “So get ready for these opportunities by developing your own growth plan at work. Think about where you want to be in five years and ten years and then put it down in writing” when they discussed planning your growth in their story 4 Ways to Do Your Best.
If you want to get further in your career, you have to have a plan, and you must own that responsibility yourself. Creating the plan is easy, but most people don’t take the time required to think about where they want to go and how they are going to get there.
Reading
I find it helpful to discover what other people are doing and follow in their path. I find no reason to reinvent the wheel, I’d rather spend time focused on an outcome for myself. I recommend that you read about Individual Development planning and discover what will be most meaningful for your path.
Yale University has made their Individual Development Plan — Achieving Higher Performance: Guide to Getting Started available on their website. I found the guide to be understandable and relevant and particularly enjoyed the exercises and resources shared. I encourage you pay special attention to 3 Ingredients for Professional Development and 5 Steps for Getting Started.
Washington State Human Resources also provides Preparing Meaningful Individual Development Plans where they share 10 Strategies for Success and 3 Potential challenges.
If you haven’t already, I also recommend reading Good to Great by Jim Collins to learn about the Hedgehog Concept.
Use your favorite search engine, you’ll find plenty of reading material about Individual Development Plans.
Resources
It’s one thing to sit and think about what you want to be when you grow up, we’ve all had those late night conversations dreaming big. When you’re creating a plan you’re going need to some additional resources to prompt you to think about. This list of resources can get you started:
- Yale University, IDP Self-Assessment Worksheets
- Yale University, Resource Guide for Skill Development
- Washington State Human Resources, Performance and Development Plan forms.
Reach for it
Now you’ve done you’re reading and you have resources, it’s time to reach for your goal. It’s time to soul search and then craft your own Individual Development Plan. If you do not begin charting your course, no one else will do it for you. The IDP is not a one-time thing, the Yale reading shared great suggestions on how to keep your IDP goals top of mind and how to make sure your employer is on your side. Complete your plan, review it regularly and make sure you start taking the actions necessary to end up where you’ve dreamed of.
Do you have any great resources you’ve used in charting your course? I’d love to be introduced to additional material, please share in the comments.
On October 6 I had my annual physical. As usual my doctor recommended that I lose weight. Knowing I need to lose weight, and actually losing weight are two different things. Knowing I should is not motivating to me. I find it a personal struggle to commit to any type of program. I do not find exercise enjoyable. While reviewing my email I saw an invitation to participate in a department weight loss challenge. I am not competitive by nature, I’ve talked about this before, but I have to admit that it seems like the stars were aligned. I need to do this. To ensure I have a shot at success I have three steps I’m using with the hopes of seeing meaningful change.
Step 1: Become Accountable
On October 9 I signed up for the weight loss challenge with my department at work. The challenge is simple though we have just shy of 30 days to meet our goal.
We had to:
- Buy in
- Commit to four weeks of participation
- Lose 4% of our body weight
- Weigh in weekly (final weigh in on November 6)
[plain]Success = we lose weight and get our money back, (except for $5 which will be donated to charity)
No Success = our money is donated to charity, but chances are we still lose some weight [/plain]
There are about a dozen of us participating. The person who as the biggest weight loss chooses which charity we are donating to. On the 10th we all weighed in, identified our weight loss goal and began. We’re holding each other accountable. I’m not concerned about winning or losing to get my money back. But the thought of having a dozen people on the same path I am makes a difference for me mentally. We’ll see how much effect it has long term.
Step 2: Look at Your Nutrition
Nutrition is a huge factor in weight loss, we all know that. We tend to eat healthy-ish in my home. I am married to an athlete after all. But it can be easy to neglect portion control, go for the quick, less healthy options, or to add in snacks and desserts. To be committed to this, I know I have to review my nutrition and make some changes. I have planned out menus for the next two weeks, and will plan the last two weeks when the time comes. Quick and easy is a must for me, pre-planning takes away excuses when I’ve had a long day. It is easy to find information online to plan menus quickly. I used my favorite weight loss site. They have meal planning with recipes freely available. I picked the meals and snacks I wanted. The site allowed me to print out recipes including grocery lists. I went shopping and bought everything that was non-perishable, so it was on hand. Next week I’ll just have to be the fresh fruits, vegetables and dairy. Spending the time, effort and money increases the motivation. My family is very supportive and the recipes are tasty and filling, so they have no complaints about participating. I confess that I am using meal replacement shakes and bars for breakfast and lunch. That is easiest for this type of effort, but long term I want to try to find filling and healthy options that I can rely on instead of using the manufactured options. Breakfast is always my biggest challenge. I don’t do mornings well, so I need something that is easy to just grab and go. It takes a few days for my body to adjust to changing calorie intake. It can be especially hard when I suddenly decrease my calories and increase my exercise. One rule of thumb I use is not to starve myself, if my exercise level increases my hunger I will allow myself extra food, but it must be smart choices. I cannot resort to the unhealthy options. If I am careful, I can still participate in special events that include food. Planning ahead makes it easy to stay on track.
Step 3: Increase Your Exercise
Diet changes will make a difference, but to ensure success it helps to change your exercise levels as well. I shared the story about running five minutes a day and the good it can do for your health. I don’t care for exercise, but I know it will improve my health, both physical and mental. I have used the excuse of hot weather for too long. It’s time to change my habits. I have replaced the battery in my pedometer and I am committing to walking every day. I’d like to work my way back up to 10,000 steps a day. This time of year the outdoors are so very inviting so it won’t be a challenge to want to spend time outside. It takes time to reach 10,000 steps (nearly 5 miles) when you’re walking an average of 20 minutes a mile. I have a DVD for walking when I need to get more done in less time. It seems weird, but it’s guided active exercise that allows you to use a very small space to get in a lot of steps. It’s kind of like a guided dance routine, but instead it’s walking. It’s stepping high, left, right, forward and backwards. There are additional arm exercises to include stretches and toning. It’s quite exhilarating, and there is also an audio option that you can put on your music player. Over the course of the day, because of my desk job, I only get in about 3,000 steps, so I will be making a large commitment to add in an extra 7,000 steps a day. This will be great for me in many ways, so I hope I can come to enjoy this. If I don’t enjoy the activity, I hope the outcome is worth the effort so I will be motivated to keep it up.
If you know you need to lose weight, these simple steps can be quite successful in helping you reach that goal. I will be busy over the next four weeks and will report back on November 10 to let you know my progress. I’d love to hear what you do to keep fit and stay healthy, share your thoughts in the comments! If you have great tips for breakfast and lunch, I’d really love to hear what you do.
One morning last week my daughter was up early, but didn’t have to run off to class or her volunteer position, so she joined my husband and I as we made our lunches.
Almost every work morning, my husband and I make our lunches. We have the dance down, always managing to be in step with each other at the refrigerator or getting something from the cabinet. It’s one of my favorite times of the day. It’s this little piece of home where work hasn’t encroached and the sleep inertia has been lifted. It’s a time where we get to talk about what we have planned for the day, or to start making plans for the coming weekend, or some crazy thing one of us saw on Twitter or Facebook.
This routine could easily be completed in 10 minutes, but often we drag it out lingering for as many as 30 minutes spending this special time together. On this occasion, we were discussing how we could honor my husband’s father on the one year anniversary of his passing, and I’d had an email from my dad announcing the marriage of their friends which gave us a wide spectrum to discuss.
Our daughter wasn’t making lunch, and I don’t think she’d even intended to stay up after she’d answered nature’s call. She sat at the breakfast counter while we prepared our lunches and shared in our discussions with us.
There is something special about starting the morning with people you love most, talking about the people you’ve loved and lost, and brainstorming exciting plans for dear friends. It’s too easy to get caught up in the task lists, the job duties, the homework and commitments, the bills and the chores.
A family dinner used to serve this role of connecting family members, but these days there aren’t many family dinners being hosted. I carried an uncommonly light heart with me to work after starting the day in this way. It reminds me to take the opportunity, whenever you’re presented with it, to connect with your loved ones, build on the relationships, in whatever small ways you can, and do it regularly.
My daughter is not normally a part of this bonding. I have been motivated to reintroduce some element of this through a regular family dinner, breakfast, or lunch. I can see us sitting with no distractions or interruptions, just being together, building memories and connecting to cement the strong bond that we’ve built over the years.
I encourage you to take note when you see this happening in your own family. Look for places to make it happen.
Do you commute, or drop your kids off at school, or sports practice or lessons? How do you spend that time right now? Could you be connecting with your family instead?
Do you find yourself eating out at fast food, or even sit down restaurants more often than you want? Do you treat that time as though it was Sunday family dinner? Why not?
Find time. You won’t regret it.
What Does Perfect Look Like?
Posted on: July 21, 2014
- In: mind
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Have you ever heard of the movie Friday Night Lights? It was released in 2004 and I haven’t seen it until now. I was inspired to watch it now, ten years later, because the music from the soundtrack showed up on one of my Pandora channels.
The movie supports everything I feel about sports analogies lining up with life and being ideal sources for inspiration to take you the next step. Whatever step that is.
Here’s a clip from the movie, and the script is below, this is the Half-time speech from Coach Gary Gaines
[plain]
Well, it’s real simple. You got two more quarters and that’s it. Now most of you have been playing this game for ten years. You got two more quarters and after that most of you will never play this game again as long as you live.
You all have known me for a while…and for a long time now, you’ve been hearing me talk about being perfect. Well, I want you to understand somethin’. To me, being perfect…is not about that scoreboard out there. It’s not about winning. It’s about you and your relationship to yourself and your family and your friends.
Bein’perfect…is about being able to look your friends in the eye…and know that you didn’t let them down. Because you told ’em the truth. And that truth is, is that you did everything that you could. There wasn’t one more thing that you could’ve done.
Can you live in that moment…as best you can with clear eyes…and love in your heart? With joy in your heart?
If you can do that, gentlemen, then you’re perfect.
I want you to take a moment…and I want you to look each other in the eyes. I want you to put each other in your hearts forever.
Because forever’s about to happen here in just a few minutes. I want you to close your eyes…and I want you to think about Boobie Miles, who is your brother. And he would die to be out there on that field with you tonight. And I want you to put that in your hearts.
Boys, my heart is full.
My heart’s full.
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Today, there is an expectation that you live a perfect life. There’s a check list that takes you through school, from graduation to wedding and beyond. There’s a bucket list of all things you must do or see. There are pictures on the glossy covers of magazines showing us what the perfect life looks like and telling us five easy steps to get it.
I’m here to tell you, that when you live your life to be perfect, it’s important that you define perfect and understand what your expectations are. You make up the rules for your life, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Decide what perfect looks like. Take your own pictures. Tell yourself what those five easy steps are, and do it. Most importantly, don’t wait until there are two quarter’s left to get that message.
What does your perfect look like? What fills your heart? Is it full?
- In: mind
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[plain]It’s finally bedtime, after a very long and trying day, just one in a long line. You pull out your perpetual journal and prepare to record today’s entry. Reading through the prior year’s entries you sigh as you see the running theme.
January 7
- 2011 – Today’s lesson is about unsolved problems – still learning
- 2012 – Trying to determine best course of action
You write in today’s entry:
- 2013 – Back to work; incredibly stupid
Now, more depressed you thumb through your entries and see things like this:
- Getting so far behind I had to postpone meetings
- Work was too much, can’t focus
- Sick, again
- Schooled in politics
- Home with a migraine
- Crazy day at the asylum, continued madness is wearing
You go to bed mulling over how you can still be in the same situation, year after year.
Perhaps, after seeing the continued dissatisfaction you ask yourself how many months and years you have to be stuck before you finally do something about it?
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You can react in a couple of ways. Get depressed and perpetuate the cycle, which is easy to do. Or get fed up, and do something about it, which is hard to do. It’s no wonder people chose the perpetual cycle for so long, it’s just easy to do.
When you’re caught in a vicious cycle, you must to come up for air. While you catch your breath, it’s time to figure out which way is home.
I can’t tell you which way is home. Your heart knows, and if you let it, your heart will show you.
So what’s stopping you?
As you begin this journey there are two things you need to do. First you have to figure out what step you want to take to get out of the cycle. Second you will realize that you’re going to have to maintain the status quo of the current cycle while you work your way into a better place.
Chances are, you know what you need to do, but you haven’t chosen to do it. Today’s the day you need to make that choice.
When you’ve found that first step and begun your pursuit, now is when the hard work really starts. You have to continue to go to your day job, slogging through the hours, and suffering through the trials. Then when you get home and you’re beat up and exhausted. You have to turn all that off and you have to commit to doing your homework, practice, write, exercise, whatever it is that you’ve decided to do – and potentially you have to do it on your family time.
Some nights it will be easy. Some days, just the thought of working on something for you, that you’ve chosen and want, will be enough to have you floating through your day, excited to get started. Other days, the old cycle may try to beat it out of you, and those days will be the hardest. You may have to resort to bribing yourself.
There are four steps you can take to give yourself a fighting chance as you take this step for you. First, take time to think through potential barriers you will face in the pursuit of your dream. Second, think through what you can do to push through those barriers. Third, identify milestones that will serve as hard deadlines or triggers for reward. Fourth, identify how you can bribe yourself.
Identify Your Barriers
Brainstorm a list of barriers. List everything from the real time commitments with your friends and family, to the mundane excuses yuo know that you’ll tell yourself.:
- exhaustion
- family commitments
- the game is on
- your favorite tv show is on
- no motivation
- no accountability
- I can do it tomorrow
- I can skip this one
Identify Your Solutions
Now, take that list and brainstorm solutions that will help you push through the barriers.
- exhaustion – exercise and get the blood pumping, have a coffee, take a 20 min. nap
- family commitments – know ahead of time and plan accordingly, spend extra time the day before, get up early and get your work done so your evening will be free
- the game is on – same as above
- your favorite tv show is on – record it and reward yourself by watching it when your work is done
- no motivation – make a dream board to pull out to remind you why you’re doing this
- no accountability – bribe yourself, ask others to help
- I can do it tomorrow – use your dream board to motivate action today, take five minutes and work on it, once you get started it’s easier to keep going
- I can skip this one – maybe you do need to skip it, but try five minutes first and see
Identify Milestones
You can also think about what milestones you have in front of you, if you are taking a class, things like these might work:
- Assignment completion (every assignment, key assignments, you choose)
- Presentatation completion
- Course Completion
If it’s a business endeavor:
- Your first product
- Your first project line
- Your first lead
- Deals and contracts
- Your first dollar
What events are coming up that you need to be ready for?
- A seminar or conference
- Your annual appraisal at your day job
- Turning in your resignation
- Another class to take
- Your anniversary for pursuing this activity
Identify Bribes and Motivation
How can you bribe yourself? These will be highly personal and unique to you. Be honest with yourself, what will really motivate you?
- Rewards
- sign up for another class
- Withhold rewards
- not allowed to call in sick
- Write and visualize turning in resignation letter
How will others motivate or help you?
- encouragement
- feedback
- engagement
- time to work
You need to give this the same focus, attention and commitment that you give your day job. (or more depending on how bad of a cycle you’re in)
This isn’t a game.
You’re not a high school graduate trying on life, you are an adult ready to seize life.
You have prepared yourself. You know what you’re working on. You know what barriers you will face and you’re ready for them. When the days are tough, you are ready to remember your motivation. You’ve got support. If all else fails you are ready to resort to bribery. You can do this!
Go do this.
CARPE DIEM!
Make the world go round 